A special guest contributor

(Apparently not everyone is happy about the Cultural Olympiad’s decision to place a video art installation on the steps of the Vancouver Art Gallery)

Where the hell we gonna sit?

By: Luke Halpern

Hey you. Yeah you walking past the art gallery steps. You see that big fancy video screen up there? The thing playing those lame ass artist videos all day for the Olympics? It took my seat. My friends seats too. That’s right. I represent the Sitting All Day On The Art Gallery Steps Club and I’m mad as hell. For five years straight, me and my posse have been gathering on those steps to talk about all sorts of things. Jude likes to talk about how much he hates capitalism. Garth likes to talk about how much he hates politics. Todd likes to talk about how much he hates wearing a condom. Well he used to like talking about that. Now he likes to talk about how much he hates having AIDS. The list of discussions was endless. Even Chad’s two mutts, pet rat and girlfriend from Quebec liked to be a part of the convo. Then boom! Up goes the video screen. No warning. No heads up from VANOC. Just one big video screen covering up our steps. So now where do we go? Do we sit on a park bench? I think not. Do we gather in a coffee shop? Hardly. Do we get jobs and contribute to society? Are you out of your friggin’ mind? I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna walk by those steps everyday and watch one of those stupid artists’ videos and talk about how stupid they are. Then we’re gonna spit on the pavement and walk away. Yeah. You heard me. We’re gonna do that every day until the stupid Olympics are over and they take down the stupid video screen and let us have our gallery steps back so we can watch all the working stiff zombies walk by to their soul-sucking jobs and we can point and laugh and then figure out where we’re gonna spend our welfare cheques and then we’ll bum smokes from people and if they say they don’t have any smokes we’ll call ‘em a douchebag and we’ll go bum a smoke from someone else who does have a smoke. So take that VANOC. See what you started?

(Submitted by Daryl Gardiner)


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