Commercialympics! — by Krista Davey

Guest blogger Krista Davey digs deep to find a commercial gem from ’88, and looks at how it stands up to its modern counterpart:

You saw Jarrod’s post comparing the ubiquitous red mittens to the iconic candle torch, well in this post the commercials from the official sponsors of the 1988 and 2010 Winter Olympic Torch Relays will square off in a series of events that I call…THE COMMERCIALYMPICS!

(cue jock jam anthem)

I should preface this post by saying that I am in no way an impartial third party.  I am in fact a very biased second party.  I am the French Judge of blog guest posters – I prefer snowflake maple leafs to inukshuks, beef to salmon, and if I were a betting man, I’d put money on Howdy being able to take Quatchi in a fight with one paw tied behind his back.

The Challengers:

Petro Canada – Share The Flame (1987)

RBC – Carry The Torch (2009)

Event 1: Best Theme Song
Gold Medal: David Foster – “Can’t You Feel It?”
Silver Medal: Joe Cocker – “Share The Flame”
Bronze Medal: Bedouin Soundclash – “Carry The Torch”

Now we all know that David Foster is the Michael Phelps of Olympic theme songs of any nature, so there’s no chance at gold for either commercial, but how can you not be moved by Share The Flame’s 30 second orgy of corporate sponsored patriotism? As the song climaxes, even the old man with his disapproving frown and slow claps is reduced to a blubbering pile of Olympic spirit. One word: Magical! Take note Pepsi, this is how it’s done.

Event 2: Best Male Accoutrement
Gold and Silver Medals: Share The Flame – Steampunk Goggles & Moustache Guy
Bronze Medal: Share The Flame – Old School RCMP Hat
4th Place: Carry the Torch – Suit & Bowler Hat
When he looks up from his work, raises his goggles and looks off into the distance, it’s like he’s looking 22 years to the future of ironic hipster fashion. Although I’m sure he probably bathes more regularly than his modern counterparts.

Event 3: Sweetest Ride

Gold Medal: Carry The Torch
Disqualified: Share The Flame

While the number of transportation options in Carry the Torch far outnumbers those in Share the Flame, this competition is all about quality over quantity, and therefore the title of Sweetest Ride would go to Share the Flame for its use of the Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser – a ride of the sweetest kind of luxury and comfort.

Final Medal Count:

Share The Flame – 1 Gold, 2 Silver, 1 Bronze

Carry The Torch – 1 Gold, 1 Bronze

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