Cheer Rape

As a member of the “Not-An-Olympic-Sponsor-But-Wish-We-Were-Club”, Pepsi is trying their best to put their sticky soda fingerprints on our national sport. The world’s most famous underdog started a promotion called “Cheer Nation” where they asked Canadians to create Canada’s official hockey cheer. People with too much time on their hands submitted their cheers, and people with even more time on their hands voted on those cheers. The “winner” was a little ditty called “Eh-O-Canada-Go!”

Pepsi pumped the crap out of the cheer through TV ads, even putting it on heavily branded Pepsi car flags. Watching the World Junior Hockey Tournament, I can hear failed attempts at this mandated cheer, no doubt spurred on by an over-caffeinated “cheer squad” dressed in Pepsi track suits running up and down the bleachers. Am I getting warm, Pepsi?

If it’s alright with the 17 citizens of “Cheer Nation”, I’m going to leave my cheer creation to the double-fisting, f-bomber poets shredding their vocal cords in the upper rows of the arena.


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